Monday, March 2, 2009

FOVS Mock Draft: Which Sorority on Villanova's Campus Would You Have House Your Harem?

The rules of this one are simple: serpentine draft. once you chose a sorority, its off the board for everyone else. Villanova sororstitutes only. 2 rounds. Let's get it.

First Pick: Delta Delta Delta (Fact)

They try so hard to convince us otherwise at even at the door of the tri-delt house, but remember: 2 our of every 3 tri delts go down!

With The first pick in the Inaugural FOVS Sorority Mock Draft, I will add the ladies of Delta Delta Delta (with the exception of one.. figure it out). Yes, the Tri Delta's at Villanova are stuck up, xenophobic, drunken, cocaine using bitches.. but we can't forget about the fact that they're hot. Honestly, who gives a shit about personality anyway when the girls look good? If they're mean, so what? You can gag them. I would much rather have a mean hot girl than a nice average looking girl. As for them being xenophobic and stuck up? So what.. I am probably even more xenophobic than they are. When building a harem, you don't have to worry about individual personalities as much as you do group dynamics. Stuck up people get along with stuck up people, simple as that. You can't let the pauper into the country club yada yada yada and so on. The Voice should have something interesting to say about Tri Delta's, but that may be something for another day...

The Voice: Nope, trying not to get killed by any more sorority girls than I already have been, so mums is the word. Plus you cannot exclude anybody from the sorority. You take the good and the bad. But no brainer pick.

Second Pick: Alpha Chi Omega (Matsuflex)
With the tri delts off the board, with the second pick of the second pick of the draft, Matsuflex selects the girls of Alpha Chi Omega sorority. While fact went with the flashy Reggie Bush type pick, I'll go with the more conservative Mario Williams pick. Long swept under the shadow of the bitches of tri-delt, the A Chi O girls are no slackers when it comes to looks and they lack many of the stigmas that are associated with DDD. Also, in my opinion, they will be willing to work harder in order to prove that they are as good if not better than the tri-delts. I'm going to be honest, I don't really know many of these girls but from what I've seen and talked to, they seem a little bit more down to earth than the DDD hoes, that's not to say that they aren't going to be bitchy, just that they will be less bitchy than the DDD girls. And A Chi O has one thing that DDD doesn't have, a set of really hot twins..... and a really hot Russian (Fact can attest to her hotness). So with that i turn the clock over to Blue Man.

Third Pick: Kappa Kappa Gamma (Blue Man)
I was hoping to move up in the draft but my offer of 30 cases of frost gatorade and a one week rental of deep blue sea was rejected. ill take Kappa Kappa Gamma.

One thing is for sure--LL Cool J was not in KKG. Samuel L. Jackson might be.

Fourth Pick: Kappa Delta (The Voice)
Having seen the big three expectedly go in their rightful order, i'm stuck with the remaining mediocrity of sororities. I think it's still pretty much a no brainer though, that Kappa Delta be taken next, if for no other reason than their impeccable senior class. I mean their senior class alone, is better than the cream of the crop of upperclassman in the three sororities already taken.

Fifth Pick: Delta Gamma (The Voice)
Alas, as if choosing one diamond in the rough wasn't hard enough, I must go again. This is where it gets difficult again. DG or Alpha Phi. I think Alpha Phi are a bunch of nice girls, that would never put out. DG on the other hand loves to party hard and play hard, which may be a turn off, because they dominate greek week like tia grant dominates scottie in bed (you know its true). Yet, I will take my chances with the anchor girls.

Sixth Pick: Alpha Phi (Blue Man)
I'll leave adpi on the table for fact and go with alpha fi.

Seventh Pick: Chi Omega (Matsuflex)
There is one hot piece of ass in the sorority that justifies taking all of the other ones with her. Chi Omega. Muahhahaa.

Eighth Pick: Alpha Delta Pi (Fact)
Geez, being stuck with the last pick in the draft is like getting herpes. You won't have to worry about getting herpes from any of these girls because sleeping with them is not an option. If you got one of the picks at the beginning of the round, you at least got some project bitches but in this case, we have no options. I requested a trade, I even offered the pick to someone else. Shit, I don't know.. put me down for ADPi. given my personal experiences, i have to pick Alpha Delta Pi, but like a real draft pick that doesn't pan out, They're probably gonna get cut after mini camp.

And that concludes FOVS first Mock Draft on the topic of Villanova Sororities you would want in your harem. Now that we said our peace, we wanna hear what you have to say in the comments. Debate it out and start from the top--first commenter has first dibs at any sorority. I think there are 10 total, and if you weren't included we are sorry...for you not because of your exclusion but because of the state of your chapter. Enjoy until we get back from break, when the Dining Service Mock Draft will commence.

5 comments:

  1. this is BRILLIANT

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  3. haha what about poor pi phi ? ha ha ha -- they are the detroit lions of sororities

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  4. The last pick was down to Pi Phi and AD Pi. I had to use a dart board to pick

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  5. Oh Fact don't lie, you wanted to pick ADPi first because of your previous encounters with them, don't try to deny your everlasting love for them

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