Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Rick Pitino, I Applaud You For Your Environmental and Humanitarian Crusade!

So Rick, Where should I start? I have always admired you as a basketball coach, but I have had doubts about your kindness as a person since a little speech you gave to the media while coaching the Celtics. But tonight, I realized that you are in fact a kind, decent person. I mean how many guys are nice enough to pay to terminate the pregnancy of a woman they slept with out of wedlock? I know that three grand is a drop in the bucket for a well off man such as yourself, but you didn't have to do it you decided to do it out of the kindness of your heart. The earth is an overcrowded place and there are far too many whiny rich brats who live off their rich father's child support payments and let's face it, it's hard to be a rich kid who's only notable because of a rich famous family member. Paying for that abortion wasn't a despicable act as like some would say. I personally think that it was an efficient way of lowering your carbon footprint! After all, Lincoln Town Cars get terrible gas mileage. Also, consider the amount of plastic you will have saved because we all know that kid would have gone through tons of hair gel. For a mere $3,000, you have contributed to saving our great green earth! So Rick, please do your new pal Fact a favor and don't let all these haters bring you down. They're just jealous because they didn't think to wear a white suit first. Stay classy Rick and never let anyone tell you that you are anything less than a man who is concerned with the future of our planet and of the human race. I Salute You!


  1. we better have lousville at home this year...

  2. I don't think we do.. I may be wrong though. He'll get it when he goes to one of the Catholic schools though.

  3. According to Pitino's lawyer, Rick actually meant that he paid $3000 for her insurance, not her abortion. Honest mistake.

    Man I wish we were playing Louisville at home this year, I remember heckling Slick Rick freshman year and it was awesome. Best line I can remember was "I read your book Rick...IT SUCKED!!" Just imagine what we could do to him this year.

    P.s. the other catholic schools better step it up for us, instead of those big heads people print out I want a big huge aborted fetus in the stands.