Monday, March 22, 2010

Killing Time on a Monday: Matt Szczur Facts

In the spirit of Chuck Norris Facts or Jay Wright Facts, I've decided to come up with some facts about Villanova's very own demigod Matt Szczur
  • The Virgin Mary named her baby Jesus because she couldn't spell Szczur.
  • Matt Szczur once ate his entire birthday cake before his friends told him there was a stripper inside.
  • Tiger's mistresses thought they were sleeping with Matt Szczur.
  • Matt Szczur is wanted in Montana for genocide.
  • When Matt Szczur went to Jerusalem, people tried to nail him to a cross.  To their dismay, he escaped because no one Catches Matt Szczur.. Ever
  • Matt Szczur once broke 20 tackles in a flag football game.
  • Matt Szczur is not familiar with the letter 'K'
  • Barry Bonds took steroids because he wanted to be like Matt Szczur.
  • When Smokey the Bear said "Only you can prevent forest fires," he was speaking directly to Matt Szczur.
  • Matt Szczur has slept with approximately 3 billion women because he never strikes out.
  • Matt Szczur lost his virginity before his father.
  • Satan attempted to filibuster Matt Szczur's conception.
  • The original health care bill included a cap on the punishment dished out by Matt Szczur.
  • Matt Szczur can win a game of Connect Four in 3 moves.
  • Before Signing with Villanova, Matt Szczur was tempted in the desert for 40 days and 40 nights.
  • Matt Szczur wanted to play three sports at Villanova, but they wouldn't sanction barehanded lion hunting.
  • Matt Szczur's football number has a direct correlation to the number of testicles he has.
Let's hear some more, comments?

5 comments:

  1. Socttie Reynolds only made 4 field goals in the tourney in homage to Matt Szczur.

    Jay Wright didn't adequately prepare his team for St. Mary's because he flew back to watch Matt Szczur.

    The St. Mary's Roastbeefulous mascot was modeled after Matt Szczur.

    Joe Mauer's family milkman was Matt Szczur.

    But at the same time, when Matt Szczur goes to bed at night, he checks under his bed for Charlie Davies.

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  2. Matt Szczur knows where Jimmy Hoffa is , and aint tellin !

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  3. Why do you think that Clark Kent has an S on his chest

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  4. Matt Szczur's spunk cures cancer.

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  5. Superman wears Chuch Norris pajamas; Chuck Norris wears Tim Tebow pajamas and Tim Tebow wears Matt Szczur pajamas

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